and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
