Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The struggles of a small town man whore
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
