sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
