Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
