you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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