I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Your penis caused this!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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