My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
