Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
