How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
