hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
