she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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