There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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