just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
