kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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