Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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