haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize