Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
