we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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