My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
