The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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