I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
