thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
