..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
