the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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