good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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