Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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