Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
