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cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
