I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We named our party play list daddy issues
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
