i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
