so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
