i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
