I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
