Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
