he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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