If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
