So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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