So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
