I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
