did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
