I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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