I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
