Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Oh god it's open bar.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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