Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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