If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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