I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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