It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
That was before I lit my hair on fire
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
