seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
