Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
