Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
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