I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
