They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
