i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
should my penis look like a turkey
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
