Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize