A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
