Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
PANTIES FOUND
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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