her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
